I’m not doing so well, today. This is one of the days where I won’t be sharing what a great day I had, or how I kicked depression’s butt, or rave about how productive I was.
Aside from making sure my brother has what he needs, I’ve been in bed all day. And today, I don’t have the mental strength to just get up and make it. I need help, on these days, and I usually never seek it. I don’t like to seem needy and I don’t like to admit when I am drowning. But today, that’s what’s happening. I’m drowning in my depression and I just can’t seem to shake it. I am avoiding my wellness tools because I just don’t have the energy. I haven’t felt like eating and I didn’t even make any coffee. I’ll get up soon; do some light housework, muster the energy to wash my dishes and cook dinner later, but that’s about all I can expect from myself. I’m doing the absolute bare minimum and that’s OK.
I needed my bed today. I’m not always sunshine and rainbows. I’m doom and gloom, just like my depression. I rarely have these days and I make sure to limit myself to only one, every once in a while.
Tomorrow, I will make wonderful. Tomorrow, I will be positive. Tomorrow, I will shine again. Because today, I just can’t. Today, I am hurting. Today, I am not OK. And that’s perfectly fine.